Think you're a smart ass? Think you know what our "Gods" are thinking? Well, here's your chance to put your thoughts into print. Tell us what you think is going on in the picture provided, and I'll make an image of the best one for you
Competition ends 28th February 2001, when the winner will be announced, and a new Caption Contest will take place... |
RULES OF CONDUCT PREVIOUS COMPETITIONS
Thierry Henry
Arsene Wenger
Sol and Paddy
Oleg Luzhny
Arsenal v Chelsea
ROLL OF HONOUR - Mirth (Has won three times) |
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MARK VIDUKA - CAPTION ENTRIES: jamie carney carne36 @ hotmail.com November 13, 2004 lets do rolly pollys michael mossess floraman_15 @ hotmail.com October 25, 2004 Breakdancing halftime show impresses on debut michael mossess floraman_15 @ hotmail.com October 25, 2004 Keown and Viduka race to the annual makeover giveaway... michael mossess floraman_15 @ hotmail.com October 25, 2004 pull my leg......woops i meant finger michael mossess floraman_15 @ hotmail.com October 25, 2004 viduka challenges viera to a game of bulldog...viera stands stunned Michael Mossess floraman_15 @ hotmail.com October 25, 2004 Give us a hand mark? its hard sucking your own d**k Brandon Rubad Brxlr8 @ aol.com October 13, 2004 Hey! How much did you pay for those boots? I saw them on sale last week. You got ripped off buddy, so I'll rip them off you Ali a_gimmy @ hotmail.com October 13, 2004 keown: WOW!!! Nice boots Ali a_gimmy @ hotmail.com October 13, 2004 Keown: damn , i thought i could TAKE down mark if i spent the season working out ,damn u australian monster y udaya manish yelum4 @ yahoo.co.in October 12, 2004 you vampire viduka stop its my turn phemmy phemmy911 @ yahoo.com August 30, 2004 no goal for u viduka becos we must be unbeatable this season Jerome August 19, 2004 I told u not to were my trainers, get em off slash robbo4386 @ aol.com August 17, 2004 I mean it mark!! i want my boots back before you go down!!! adam July 13, 2004 phroorrrrrrrrrwwwww thats gotta hurt stuart daymonkey @ msn.com June 27, 2004 VIDUKA: are we there yet Grampus Eight June 05, 2004 What! The chewing gum's having adhered on the back side of shoes? Umang umang @ footymania.com May 17, 2004 You heard of Shaolin Soccer? I'm the Shaolin fouler. mclintock upurarsenal @ highbury.net May 16, 2004 Keown: Did someone toss another ball on the pitch?! mclintock upurarsenal @ highbury.com May 16, 2004 Keown: Somersault if you love the Gunners! mclintock upuarsenal @ highbury.com May 16, 2004 Keown: Does anyone else hear the snap, crackle, pop, of my vertebrae? mclintock upurarsenal @ highbury.com May 16, 2004 Keown: From this angle, you have such nice legs, Viduka and I hope you don't mind me pawing at and daintily feeling on your ankle to quell my boyish fanatsies. Gunnery me @ me.com May 04, 2004 Keown: Eeeekk.. you don't wear underwear, pervert ! Viduka: You peeked at me, who's more pervert ? Chris jinksy13 @ yahoo.com April 26, 2004 Yo Mark, I thinkI've found that tunnel to Australia you were talkin' about !! sem semma_aj @ yahoo.co.uk April 12, 2004 oi viera does my bootie look fruity? FL olla_gatie @ yahoo.co.uk April 12, 2004 ooooh the ausie fish smell down here! mark billett markyboy_75 @ hotmail.com March 30, 2004 come on i will even lay down with my back turned an i bet u still dont score Simbarashe Chikafa SimbaC @ rasole.co.zw March 23, 2004 Reyes was hooked down Terry of Chelsea Minz only_1_outlaw @ hotmail.com March 22, 2004 Paid by tha club £40,000, Puma Football boots £49.99, Nike football £14.99, Bringing down Viduka face first tha tw*t Priceless Colin Hare cihareuk @ yahoo.co.uk March 17, 2004 Mark, one of your studs is comming lose! Sygon jchunt @ eircom.net March 15, 2004 Great! one minute's rest, now it's time to score again! James Baldwin March 11, 2004 Keown:Fall over fatty. Viduka:Shut up Frankinstien!! James Baldwin Jaybald @ hotmail.com March 11, 2004 Keown:Fall over fatty. Viduka:Shut up Fatty!! Giao thanhgiao22 @ hotmail.com March 08, 2004 Viduka: The referee is looking at you. Keown: Do you think I care? Haha...as long as my coach doesn't see it. Tobias tobben_b @ hotmail.com March 03, 2004 Viduka said: If Totti can do it, i can! hehe Tobias tobben_b @ hotmail.com March 03, 2004 Viduka said right after: Ahhh my little loved snout! Dean dean_kemp_98 @ hotmail.com March 01, 2004 Look Arsene look what i can do "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" "No" Damian wukshop @ hotmail.com February 27, 2004 you crazy aussies there not much down under! have a look mark! Thomas McLaughlin mclaughlin_tp @ hotmail.com February 27, 2004 Viduka: If I can just connect with Keowns hand as he falls over, I may have a chance of a free-kick...... Oh yes got it Chris February 26, 2004 Where do you think your going. Carly carly_d_89 @ hotmail.com February 26, 2004 Allow me to help you Mark! Giao thanhgiao22 @ hotmail.com February 25, 2004 Let me go. I am not going to look at the sky with you in your position. Pete peter4r @ hotmail.com February 23, 2004 Viduka: Martin let me at him, the damn ball refuse to follow my command all day... Keown: Calm down Mark, I will not let u! That ball belongs to Tierry!! (Henry scored hatrick against Leeds, and will keep the match ball after the game) Martyn!! ginge1874 @ hotmail.com February 22, 2004 WAIT!! YOUR SHOELACE IS UNTIED!!! Da bomb rahuldravid_69a @ hotmail.com February 20, 2004 AHHHHHHHHH so u do a flip after u score not before timothy olusesan ogunjobo nasestemitope @ yahoo.com January 20, 2004 kanu,what's up woun't u coming for the nations cup. I Ashurst impa43 @ yahoo.com January 11, 2004 It's only an ankle tap, nobody'll notice. tim heaney January 10, 2004 oi how come i only get puma boots if you get adidas hand them over ucanda ducanda2002 @ yahoo.co.uk January 08, 2004 leave me alone robbie norster www.rn03 @ stvincent.co.uk December 18, 2003 i just want to get a close look at your boot stacy 10099432.student @ bromley.ac.uk November 25, 2003 by no means can i allow you to pass me by, even if that does mean breaking my neck in da process!!! Steve King steveking5000 @ yahoo.uk November 01, 2003 Quick! 5p is on the floor!!!!!!!!!!!I have to get that!!!!! Mick Doyle Mick.Doyle @ Aculab.Com October 15, 2003 "I can even beat you standing on my head LOOK!!" Pete Beaney beanz @ btinternet.com October 12, 2003 "Down Under" You're going down, I'm going under! alex pornlover2003_88 @ hotmail.com October 11, 2003 hey henry,viduka has got your shoes,and your girl friends numba inside his socks Feliks felix75 @ poczta.onet.pl October 07, 2003 Keown: Where's the third ball? steve Elseysteve @ aol.com October 02, 2003 keown:i can see my brains from here Chris Oladipo Buckwheat156 @ hotmail.com September 22, 2003 "hey viera check out my dragon flip knee to ankle grab" Canuck Gooner September 02, 2003 they lied when they said you were big down under jacob arsenal boy jacob. gardner @ btopenworld.com August 29, 2003 getyour leg off my hand you leeds dirt bag amir amir1967 @ maktoob.com August 28, 2003 keown to viduka: i can roll best than the ball. sasa amirjawadsalih @ yahoo.com August 27, 2003 keown:why are all of them turned upside down. Brad Hudson dallas_stars77 @ hotmail.com August 25, 2003 "Your studs are so CLEAN!" joe o'shea joshea @ london.newsquest.co.uk August 23, 2003 "Struth - you break the guy's neck and he still holds on!" ian DBRADASK @ BIGPOND.NET.AU August 16, 2003 ooh adidas bobby wright bobw13 @ msn.com August 11, 2003 thats "my" ankle chain mark,you antipadiansissy. HE hanseri @ online.no August 08, 2003 Keown: Is it still there?? Mr X ljungbergkamp @ hotmail.com August 05, 2003 Keown - So...do we shake hands now or at the end of the game...Mark? Mark? Rachel urban_diva22 @ hotmail.com July 22, 2003 Keown: I didn't know my bottom look like that JR jens.raabe @ chello.no July 15, 2003 Keown (singing): ...Oh.. Upside down, boy you turn me... Inside out and round and round... JR jens.raabe @ chello.no July 15, 2003 Keown: Hey Mark, You're arse looks even bigger upside down! khal khal_dragon @ hotmail.com July 13, 2003 martin keaon holds mark vidukas leg and viduka is ust about to fall and hurt him self badly likely to bea freekick by the ceatig defender arsenals the best Champions Wewonaretropheyback @ manutd.com June 30, 2003 Succumbing to his foot fetish Martin gives himself head whilst stroking Viduka's foot rob wallace robert.wallace @ capitallogistics.co.uk June 13, 2003 keown tries Desperately to stop Viduka launching into another Elvis impression Tony L lafual @ hotmail.com June 06, 2003 Hang on Mark, I can see three balls from here. terry terrynials @ hecm.co.uk June 05, 2003 if keown cant stop him getting to the burger van who can??!! Terry terrynials @ hecm.co.uk June 05, 2003 if keown cant stop him getting to the burger van who can????!! Alex Kim otterulz @ aol.com June 05, 2003 Critics say Martin Keown has lost a step. He has proven them wrong. steven baynes age 14 abbotsford school burgess hill cuckfield June 04, 2003 henry iz da best Chris blowing_my_own_trumpet @ hotmail.com May 29, 2003 I thought so - that's where Vieira's boots got to! Danny Mills dandmills @ hotmail.com May 20, 2003 Keown: Thought i was playing down under clare hugill clareh1973 @ yahoo.com April 19, 2003 dont have to chase the ball im bent over and ready for you chase me !!!!! James osmosisjj @ hotmail.com April 18, 2003 martin keown demonstrates the Arsenal off-side trap... helin wotachick @ hotmail.com April 16, 2003 anyone for a game of twister? bear alan @ alan51.fsnet.co.uk March 22, 2003 must have really banged my head i can see two balls james james @ hotmail March 08, 2003 Keown: sorry mate, wrong sport Dan C danc102 @ hotmail.com March 08, 2003 Keown: I'm better than that bloody Igor Stepanovs standing on my head! AHMED MODIBBO modibboahmed @ yahoo.com February 25, 2003 Keown: Yeah i got him by ll means Lasting Magic LastingMagic @ Excite.com February 22, 2003 "Beautiful diving header!" RachelEdith RachelEdith @ Excite.com February 22, 2003 "Unfriendly friendly." Iva ivianell @ public.srce.hr February 17, 2003 Keown: No way ref will see the tackle. Oh wait... who told him I have 4 yellow cards already? Iva ivianell @ public.srce.hr February 17, 2003 Keown: I watched Maradona in 1986!! Alas, I play in defensive line! matt February 11, 2003 Keown:i cant seem to find my arse! Viduka: wait. let me get down an help Bouhaki Bouhaki @ Excite.com February 05, 2003 "All Ball!" alandillane alandillane_2000 @ yahoo.co.uk February 04, 2003 Hey! Im Spinning around move out my way i Know your feeling me cause you got me like this! tom rowlands tom.rowlands @ tinyworld.co.uk February 03, 2003 it is vodikers folt Daren Tan doh @ pacific.net.sg February 02, 2003 Hey! I didn't know you could write under your shoe! thomas zimmerman tzsoccer @ bellsouth.net January 30, 2003 not so quick wise guy haha gotcha kwame kwameud @ yahoo.com January 24, 2003 Hey mark, kiss my ass, we are up 4-0 Roy Rozario vip @ westnet.com.au January 19, 2003 You do that hip-hop thing, Mark, and I'll spin on my head. That'll get the crowd going. george georgiou georgiou at totalise.co.uk January 18, 2003 gottcha! you're going nowhere Will Mitchell mitcw001 @ westberks.org January 07, 2003 As the mighty gunners are already 4-0 up, keown can't be arsed to try and tackle viduka, so he practices his gymnastics instead! See gunners1413 @ yahoo.com December 23, 2002 Mark :"Stop pulling my leg !" Martin :"You r pulling my leg ! You r going towards your own net.." see seemingsze @ yahoo.com December 23, 2002 Hey stop pulling my leg ! I am going to score a own goal so that Arsenal's goal scoring record continues... Goonerz4eva dominiklw @ o2.co.uk December 16, 2002 Looks like Keown has perfected the 'ankle tap' in preparation for his England rugby team trial. Might have a chance of beating the aussies then! Oliver Wilkins sincranize @ hotmail.com December 15, 2002 Well it could have been worse, think if we had Venables as our coach, then I guess he would have our pulling down senior citizens like Keown Chris Chris.saunders @ cipfa.org December 13, 2002 The trick is to tuck your head right under , is this a bad time? Chris Chris.saunders @ cipfa.org December 13, 2002 Thr trick is to tuck your head right under , is this a bad time? ian wright iamgod @ arsenal.com December 10, 2002 nice tackle paul trimble Paulberger17 @ aol.com December 07, 2002 god missed the ball again here comes another booking Richard Citrin vidal_99 @ hotmail.com December 01, 2002 Martin stop doing rolly-pollys and get on with the game!!! richard rikad59 @ hotmail.com November 30, 2002 I've always wondered how ostriches would tackle Jimmy funnyguy @ hotmail.com November 28, 2002 Lets see what the judges make of Keown's forward roll with loop into professional foul . . . Top cheating! Will Wright will.wright @ netscalibur.co.uk November 25, 2002 Martin - "I thought I'd help you out by playing as if we were in Australia...." Mrs Jacquie Bartley jacquiebartley @ aol.com November 21, 2002 Are those my boots your wearing they must be they have L and R on the bottom paul dolan uibhfhali @ yahoo.com November 13, 2002 Viduka:"i said pull my finger you idiot." Keown:"i wish i had,did something just crawl up your arse and die!" Iva i6m9 @ hotmail.com October 13, 2002 Stop Mark, I need your foot to clean my arse. HaWaR hawar @ hotmail.com October 05, 2002 Even after all these years Keown's forward roll wasn't good enough for his gymnastics award. HaWaR hawar @ hotmail.com October 05, 2002 Even after all these years Keown's forward roll wasn't good enough for his gymnastics award. doojes o_driscollronan @ hotmail.com September 27, 2002 I'll pretend I'm an ostrich and no one will know it was me. Simon Lock simonl @ projtel.co.uk September 25, 2002 Hold on, I want you to watch my forward roll!!! peter peterkray @ hotmail.com September 24, 2002 hey mark! u couldnt check to see if theres something up my arse! Andy the.gooner @ blueyonder.co.uk September 22, 2002 Hey Mark, about this Kama Sutra thing... I'm not convinced we're got it quite right. spellsy spells63 @ hotmail.com September 14, 2002 "it's true, you do shave"! Rui Simoes afcsimon @ hotmail.com September 13, 2002 I told you that i can fly way the_gooner the_gooner @ yahoo.com September 11, 2002 come back here you fat aussie bastard Clare Hugill shagwell @ virginstudent.com September 10, 2002 hey, i thought this was gym class dave chewtown @ optushome.com.au August 30, 2002 You were supposed to wait till i finished doing your laces.... dave chewtown @ optushome.com.au August 30, 2002 You were supposed to wait till i finished doing you laces..... Eoin O'Donnell eoinodonnell76 @ hotmail.com August 28, 2002 Patrick Swayze's debut as a Leeds forward was marred by Keown's own brand of 'Dirty Dancing' BrissyGrant August 25, 2002 Perfectly executed tuck and roll with professional foul. Ciaran August 21, 2002 Keown: I bet u Mark, that I can lift my bum higher than u can. Viduka: Right then come on then ill whip ur ass!!!! Dan August 19, 2002 Italy world cup team at diving practice. Dan bergy10_ @ hotmail.com August 19, 2002 Is this what they mean by down under, Mark??? Dan bergy10_ @ hotmail.com August 19, 2002 Is this what they mean by down under, Mark??? sam August 16, 2002 fall over before i get caught, you fat git...!! eirik August 10, 2002 Do you got my red shoes mark? Mirth August 09, 2002 Martin, realising he cant lick his own tackle, enlists the assistance of a passer-by Nick Tickell nicktick13 @ hotmail.com August 06, 2002 Keown: I'll score in your goal any time Mark Nick Tickell nicktick13 @ hotmail.com August 06, 2002 Keown: I score in your goal any time mark neil neiltitangroup @ aol.com July 26, 2002 I can see right up your shorts, wheres your ball neil neiltitangroup @ aol.com July 26, 2002 It's a bad time for breakdancing but have you seen me do a head spin. Eirik oeirik @ hotmail.com July 21, 2002 This is da right way to take a dive mark! -I may be not be a striker but I`m no fool! (Merde! I said NO PICTURES!) Will wildo316 @ hotmail.com July 20, 2002 Keown: Look Mark, if I do this I can see everything out of my rear end. Viduka: What?! Keown: Fine if you're not going to pay attention, I'll take your leg away from you until you do so! Sam marios_fun_party @ hotmail.com July 13, 2002 Keown: I'm sure I left 5 cents around here somewhere........Hey! you stood on it. Viduka:No I didn't Keown: I know mate i'm just pulling your leg Sam marios_fun_party @ hotmail.com July 13, 2002 Weeeeeeeee! Hey A Foot? johnny jonkanon @ hotmail.com July 13, 2002 Keown try out the self-invented "Fat Aussie footgrab"-move for his new wrestlingcareer. AZGooner kjeaston @ yahoo.com July 11, 2002 Let me get this right, aim inside the goalmouth? Exiled in Newcastle July 03, 2002 It took a lot of practice but finally they were able to get in the right positions to stop time at the 28th February (2001?) Dan.Pep dan.pep @ ntlworld.com June 24, 2002 "Mum, you can see Newcastle from here" Christine June 21, 2002 is that what its like down under? Dave Borgerd dave40k @ charter.net June 15, 2002 Maybe if I head the world I can knock him off balance and get the ball back... teri saunders Linkin_Park_Blink182_Teri @ hotmail.com June 11, 2002 I think i need to parp but i think i can hold it in ! Ah no grass has gone in my eye as well as my spit! yuck! Lucy xXLjungberg08Xx @ hotmail.com May 17, 2002 See! Arsene! Look! I CAN do a forward roll! Bill May 15, 2002 Right hand on green, yeah.........Left Foot on Red? Who's bright idea was Twister, anyway? Rob K May 14, 2002 pull the other one, its got bells on it. Spencer sirspencer @ netzero.net May 08, 2002 Hey ref, Do you smell that. That fat Koala Bear in white Horse & Carted yet again. One more and i am asking the gaffer to sub me. Missin Element DJ_Mes101 @ hotmail.com May 08, 2002 The newly employed japanese trainer, methods where starting 2 pay of as Keown dives looked more realstic every day Matt Matt.moriarty @ totalise.co.uk May 08, 2002 I may be ugly and I may be holding your boot but I'm a winner and you'll always be mid-table Marin Gjoca gjoca2000 @ yahoo.com May 06, 2002 Keown-Hey, maybe i shoould tie his shoe. ARTHUR MACKNER JJURTHER @ YAHOO.COM May 01, 2002 where's my weenie??? VIDUKA COME BACK HERE!!!! ARTHUR MACKNER JJURTHER @ YAHOO.COM May 01, 2002 where's my weenie??? VIDUKA COME BACK HERE!!!! Joe Mangel joemangel @ hotmail.com April 29, 2002 Keown took desperate measures to stop Viduka from attacking the boy in the front row eating a pie rob wallace rwal01782 @ aol.com April 27, 2002 tick your it u fat aussie shit rob wallace rwal01782 @ aol.com April 27, 2002 tick your it u fat aussie shit Alan Dobson britishbulldo85 @ hotmail.com April 26, 2002 Martin was somewhat miffed when his extensive stretching routine was interrupted by a fat Aussie running past him at high speed. Kane Murdoch Jesterslob @ Hotmail.com April 18, 2002 Keown performs a perfect front somersault to apprehend the Highbury boot thief. Kane Murdoch(No relation,smartass) Jesterslob @ Hotmail.com April 18, 2002 That's that ladybug that stuffed my last shot.I'll get the bastard this time!!! Edu17 derwynj @ dpconline.com April 16, 2002 Oh shit! better get up before Woodgate & Bowyer come on the scene! Edu17 derwynj @ dpconline.com April 16, 2002 HaHaHa.....I can't believe you still think you'll win the league?? Darren Bowser ab9db @ bath.ac.uk April 15, 2002 Dixon grabs Aussie down under. the_gooner the_gooner @ yahoo.com April 14, 2002 Hey Skippy, someone's fallen down a mine you say ? the_gooner the_gooner @ yahoo.com April 14, 2002 oi Mark, I can see your house from here the_gooner the_gooner @ yahoo.com April 14, 2002 is this how it looks down under ? the_gooner the_gooner @ yahoo.com April 14, 2002 Fat Aussie Bastard, your'e just a fat Aussie Bastard....... Tiffany Lane MCKENZIESMOTHER @ HOTMAIL.COM April 10, 2002 THOSE ARE NOT REGULATION SHOES. mike j bertiemee @ aol.com April 07, 2002 Martin, can you smell spurs ? Shiok Man April 05, 2002 After dragging Keown the length of the pitch, you gotta forgive Mark for pulling that horrible face. wael ak Waker1984 @ hotmail.com April 05, 2002 Hey mark join me in the famous forward flip Goonah April 04, 2002 Waiting for the caption contest winner to be announced..... Ben benwalton @ redape.fsnet.co.uk April 04, 2002 Keown:"Just as I suspected these are not regulation studs, REF, REF" Kik kik_arsenal @ hotmail.com March 31, 2002 Holay! Arsenal won again!!!! I love you, Henry Gooner til i die March 27, 2002 Yet again, poorly disguised as martin keown running on his neck, the evil alien ankle snatcher claims another victim andrea andrea @ sforce.co.uk March 27, 2002 spin the twister board before i fall on me face mate!!!!!!!!! adam March 26, 2002 "Excuse me Mr Viduka, were looking for a replacement cruciate ligament for our friend. Mmmm.. your's isn't the same quality but it'll do for now" Mathew Gallafant toocoolmattis @ hotmail.com March 20, 2002 weeeeeeee!!! here we go again, off doing my backwards rolls and him looking as though he needs a big poo!! Joe O'Brien doveg61014 @ aol.com March 20, 2002 the ellend road turf is so bad martin keown decided to plant a potato Joe O'Brien doveg61014 @ aol.com March 20, 2002 the ellend road turf is so bad martin keown decided to plant a potato Mirth March 20, 2002 Issue 101 March 2002 see inside for exclusive interviews with all the Arsenal stars! -oops, copied the wrong bit of the fanzine :p Joey March 18, 2002 Keown: Wait,, I've seen you on TV! adam March 05, 2002 Viduka's love of Bruce Lee was clear to see as he re-enacts his favourite scene from Enter the Dragon adam March 05, 2002 Those Australian speed skaters really know how to stay on their feet adam March 05, 2002 "hey Viduka, do you think if I have a couple of ribs removed I'll be able to reach myself? Viduka- "how should I know mate, ask Greame Le Saux" adam March 05, 2002 Keown-"Hey Viduka, guess what I had for breakfast." Viduka-"That's sick mate I think you should go to the dunny" thofman vinire @ hotmail.com March 02, 2002 Blimey! They DO wear nappies! Hayley Hayley @ Smith581.fsnet.co.uk March 02, 2002 Vieira looks on wearily "I bet he gets sent off!!" David ingham davidingham @ yahoo.com March 01, 2002 Hey Mark thanks for the new yoga move Lil' J March 01, 2002 Keown tries out the new and improved Lil' J Jayjay100 @ hotmail.com March 01, 2002 Keown tries out the new and improved "accidental" tackle, while Paddy looks on admirably with a proud tear in his eye. "He learnt from the best" sniff, sniff! Lil' J Jayjay100 @ hotmail.com March 01, 2002 Keown practices the new, legal, "accidental" tackle, while Paddy looks on admirably with a proud tear in his eye. "He learnt from the best" sniff, sniff! Lil' J Jayjay100 @ hotmail.com March 01, 2002 Keown practices the new, legal, "accidental" tackle, while Paddy looks on admirably with a proud tear in his eye. "He learnt from the best" sniff, sniff! Lil' J March 01, 2002 Keown practices the new, legal, "accidental" tackle, while Paddy looks on admirably with a proud tear in his eye. "He learnt from the best" sniff, sniff! Lil' J March 01, 2002 Keown practices the new, legal, "accidental" tackle, while Paddy looks on admirably with a proud tear in his eye. "He learnt from the best" sniff, sniff! Lil' J Jayjay100 @ hotmail.com March 01, 2002 Keown tries desperately to get back his gum - it was strawberry flavour! Steve tied1 @ hotmail.com March 01, 2002 Viduka saying " I gotta get out of here man! Keowns got a Viera coming out of his arse! Steve tied1 @ hotmail.com March 01, 2002 Try it Mark, these forward rolls are easy really. Come on, I'll help you. Mik @ a.stamand @ sympatico.ca February 26, 2002 Keown desperately looking for his contact lenses under Viduka's shoes: it must be somewhere... Will February 23, 2002 Keown - my ankles are knackered Viduka. I need new ones. TheBigKahuna thebigkahuna @ gulleycom.com February 20, 2002 Merely engaging in the Leeds post-game habit of attacking foreigners, Martin Keown wins an MBE for demonstrating in clear and admirable terms for all just how things work when he's "down undah". Mirth csmirth @ hotmail.com February 15, 2002 Keown introduces Viduka to the English custom of pulling your opponents leg. Soon afterwards Viduka introduced Keown to the Australian custom of elbowing your opponent in the face. Mirth csmirth @ hotmail.com February 15, 2002 It was announced today that Martin Keown will face a 5 match ban for head-butting the pitch. Dismissing accusations of a conspiracy the FA said that 'outrageous head-butting like this must be removed from the game'. The ban will follow on from Keowns 3 match ban for sweating whilst playing football. hefdgooner neil.p.heffernan @ intel.com February 13, 2002 Keown thinking to himself, Studs instead of blades, now why didn't I think of that. hefdgooner neil.p.heffernan @ intel.com February 13, 2002 Keown grabbing Viduka's foot says " Oi Show me them, I though your boot contract with addidas had finished" BAZZA barrie @ solomonsb.freeserve.co.uk February 10, 2002 Oi! Martin,You great gormless merde head,I said the only way you'll ever stop Viduka was to carry out some assault, not a F#####g somersault. Holyshare holyshare @ hotmail.com February 08, 2002 Hey!Your shoes are made by my grandma!See the bottom!"to my little sheep Martin." Will February 07, 2002 Keown "they are my socks Viduka, hand em over". Bjarte February 07, 2002 Keown : Haha, I got you this time too ! Will February 07, 2002 Keown excels at 'Swing an Aussie Day'. EalingAndy ealing_andy @ yahoo.co.uk February 07, 2002 Keown's impression of an ostrich fooled no-one! wilson silas67 @ yahoo.com February 05, 2002 Viduka: You thought my elbow hurt 1 nil to the arseanl benlewis84 @ hotmail.com February 05, 2002 Keown uses every means possible to try and get a glimpse up Viduka's skirt. ad February 05, 2002 mark: "if u stand on ur head while i attempt kung fu and stare at the ball.......we can make it levetate Marc Coyte marc_coyte @ hotmail.com February 04, 2002 Keown 'See told you it was Viduka who trod in dog Sh*t' Hayley February 04, 2002 Viduka tried to make a quick getaway after Keown dropped a stinker. Exiled in Newcastle ExiledGooner @ aol.com February 04, 2002 Even after all these years Keown's forward roll wasn't good enough for his gymnastics award. jack kingwell jack_kingwell @ hotmail.com February 03, 2002 Keown: 'hang on these balls aren't Mitre!' Haydn hlhm @ hotmail.com February 03, 2002 Martin - This aint kung fu mate! Mark - Really? Your pulling my leg! Lee Robson robson_enfield @ hotmail.com February 02, 2002 Arsenal player: "Look Ref! I told you his studs were illegal!" Leeds player: "Doh!" Harv ijenning @ spm.org.za February 02, 2002 "Honest, Mr Ref! I was going for the header when this fat Aussie tosser happened along. I told him how impressed I was but could not stop laughing as I was only pulling his leg. Now you aren't really going to send me off, are you?" |
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